How to Prevent People from Boring You and Tap Into Their Interesting Side Instead
September 19th, 2023
Have you ever found yourself talking to someone who rambled on endlessly about themselves, their opinions, or even their complaints – basically about things you had zero interest in hearing about?
Gets pretty boring the longer you have to listen to them, doesn’t it?
But has it ever occurred to you that you never have to listen to people who bore you with their endless rambling?
I mean, don’t you really have it within your power to influence the conversation away from such topics whenever they arise?
Well, how would you like to learn some techniques you can use in future situations where someone’s boring you, all by taking control of the conversation in such a way that it puts an end to their boring rambling and steers it onto more mutually interesting topics?
We’ll get to that shortly, but first let me ask you this…
How many bores do you think there are out there who actually know that they’re boring people with the things they talk about?
After all, whatever they’re talking about is interesting or important to them, right?
But they never stop to consider if it’s of interest to you as the listener, do they?
Furthermore, don’t we often tend to humor them by listening, nodding and even asking them questions?
Well, why do we humor people who are boring us by encouraging them to keep talking about an uninteresting topic with our willingness to listen to them?
If we really want them to move onto something more interesting, wouldn’t it be wiser not to encourage them to talk about what’s boring us?
But how can we do that?
How do we discourage them from boring us?
The secret to making the best of people who are talking about things that bore us is to take control of the conversation and direct it onto topics that are mutually interesting.
So how do we do that?
Well, what’s interesting to you?
Are you interested in getting glimpses into other people’s lives and seeing how their lives are different than your own?
Are you interested in hearing about people’s opinions on topics that have special meaning to you?
Are you interested in learning new things that others already know?
If you want to stop people from boring you, you must realize that everyone has something interesting to say. Everyone has interesting stories they’ve experienced. Everyone has knowledge you do not yet possess. And the trick is to mine for those things like you’re searching for gold. Then, once you’ve found them, transition the conversation off of the boring topic and redirect it onto the interesting stuff that person has to offer you.
But how do you do that?
How do you take control of the conversation and direct it onto mutually interesting topics?
The answer lies in picking up cues and expanding them into central topics of the conversation.
Whenever the conversation is heading in a direction they don’t want, like someone boring them with some form of useless rambling concerning uninteresting topics, the master conversationalist is always on the lookout for cues that the other person drops into the conversation through their rambling.
Because guess what?
When someone is rambling on about something that is of no interest to you, and the more they talk, the more they’re going to drop useful cues into the interaction.
But what do most people do?
How do most people handle people who are boring them?
Don’t they just endure it?
Don’t they just put on a pleasant face and nod along, while meanwhile they often zone out and let their mind wander or even mentally complain and fume about how boring the person they’re talking to is?
Instead of doing that, why not use that same mental energy to seek out cues that can then be used to redirect and steer the conversation away from the boring topic onto interesting ones?
Instead of nodding your head, zoning out and enduring, why not spend that same time listening for opportunities to change the topic, and doing it in such a way that it’s natural and it flows effortlessly from one to the other?
So how is this accomplished?
And just what is a cue, and why is it so important in the skill of taking control of conversations?
In short, a cue is any small mention of something that is often unrelated to the topic a person is presently focusing on.
For example, perhaps you’re talking to a person who’s rambling on about some wacky conspiracy theory:
“We’ve been lied to our entire lives. All through school, we’ve been taught that the world is round. But it’s really flat. I’m one of the few who knows the truth. I’m not one of those mindless zombies who’s been brainwashed since they were a kid. Even the Bible reveals that the world is flat. I’ve seen footage of a camera rising up into the sky and I’ve seen with my own eyes that the world is actually flat. Globeheads have been deceived…”
Probably pretty boring to listen to, right?
But if you’ll notice, I italicized a bunch of words. Those words would be your cues. At any time in their spiel, you could jump in and ask about any of those things, if they’re of interest to you, and turn the conversation down that path instead of letting it remain on the conspiracy theory.
With school, you could ask, “So you think the school system failed us?” thus, directing the conversation onto the topic of the school system and its flaws.
With the truth, you could ask, “How do you know when we actually have the truth? How do we differentiate the truth from falsehood?” thus, turning the conversation onto philosophy.
With brainwashed, you could ask, “How would you say brainwashing works? How do people brainwash others? What’s the method?” thus, turning the topic on the science of brainwashing.
With the Bible, you could ask, “Are you an avid reader of the good book?” thus, turning the conversation onto their reading habits.
And with Globeheads, you could ask, “What the heck is a Globehead, anyway?” thus, turning the conversation onto definitions.
As you can see, in that short ramble alone, there were five opportunities to transition the conversation off of the boring topic and onto more interesting things.
If the first cue isn’t interesting enough to you, wait for the second, and so on until you come across one you really like.
That’s all there really is to taking control of the situation when someone is boring you…
Listen to them spiel in search of cues.
When one appears and appeals to you, ask them a question about that cue.
The conversation is now off of the boring topic and onto one that is also of interest to you.
Simple.
With practice using this conversational technique you will get good at it. And when you get good at it, you will never have to be subject to people boring you ever again! Instead, you’ll create a conversation that you both can enjoy.
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