Pragmatic Knowledge and Wisdom

Moral Instruction | Archives | Donate | Contact

The Cause of Frustration in Life and How to Cure It

April 16th, 2023

Frustration is caused by one of two circumstances in life; the first being when:

We want the cooperation of someone else in order to bring about some desired outcome, but they are hesitant or unwilling to give it to us, resulting in that outcome not materializing as we’d hoped or planned.

This frustration can then lead to anger, which takes the form of lashing out at and chastising the one who withheld their cooperation from us, and maybe trying to intimidate or coerce them into abiding by our wishes and desires.

But this only generates resentment in them towards us, making the situation even worse. Now they’ll either start arguing with us, turning the situation into a conflict – or else they’ll remain silent and stew in their bitterness towards us because we tried to force or manipulate them into doing what we wanted, which then might grow into a harboured grudge against us.

Now not only have we lost their cooperation, we’ve also lost their trust and respect, and the relationship has been damaged which might take effort to repair, if it's even salvagable.

This is the common penalty of frustration and the consequence of acting on it. But naturally, this scenario is a problem which demands a solution.

We can’t control anyone and forcefully make them do what want without generating resentment and bitterness in them, but what we can do is induce them to follow our wishes and desires.

This ability comes with gaining an education on influence!

And the secret of influence is to promise a reward to those whose cooperation we desire. We must give them some personal incentive for taking the desired actions and carrying out the tasks. We must ensure we give them the understanding that they will benefit by agreeing to give us their cooperation and act as we wish.

Reaching this understanding tends to cause us to react in the future, not with frustration when we fail to win the cooperation we desire, but with an inquisitive mind; we start looking at the problem not as a dictator goes about his affairs, but as a benefactor and diplomat who is invested in the welfare of those he partners with, and that by working together both parties needs are met.

In this, frustration is just a warning signal that we have not yet learned how we can benefit someone whose cooperation we want, and that we must figure out how to promise and deliver such a benefit, making it our mission now to learn the secret in regard to our personal circumstance.

The person who wants to conquer and master their frustration adopts the attitude that when they feel frustration, they acknowledge they are currently ignorant to giving those whose cooperation they want an adequate reason or motive for wanting to go along with their designs and plans.

Then the person remains patient while they searches for the incentive that will win the cooperation they crave, likely through trial and error or by recruiting an advisor who already knows the individual problem and solution from practical experience.

And sooner or later, if the person persists, they will find the solution. And then they will win the cooperation they sought and manifest the outcome he originally had in mind!

But the person who fails to accomplish their objectives in life simply repeats their familiar acts and frustrations, which just results in them continuing to generate resentment and bitterness in others, and they ultimately fail to achieve their outcomes over and over again because they haven’t first learned how to succeed in winning the cooperation they require. A change would do such a person well.


More Articles

The Art of Meeting People and Developing Friendships

Defeat the Fear of Criticism and March On to Victory!

The Single Virtue That Leads To An Upright Character

Copyright 2023, Kynan Patram. All rights reserved.